The Soapbox of a Boy Named Drew.

”I pray you heal from the things no one ever apologized for.” - Taylor Libby ig:tscore1

Today is the first day of Advent but it has felt far from it. The first Sunday in advent usually holds a bit of excitement for me as I get to see the sanctuary dressed in evergreens, stress about making sure the wreath liturgy is in place, and making communion meaningful as we prepare for Christmas. However, today was different. Being a shepherd without a flock is interesting. One might think it would be a holiday or vacation. Instead, it feels as if something is missing. There is a hole in my heart where where a congregation once held space. Loneliness, insecurities, and doubt all have taken up residence where a community of believers once lived.  Today, I woke up with no church to attend. No liturgy to plan or sermon to deliver. I longed more than anything to simply attend a church service and worship in community. Yet, there’s no place nearby to belong. I searched and thought and tried to come up with a plan but ultimately, there was no place for me to feel safe and secure as th...

Living with behavioral health illnesses is a silent struggle that many people don't even realize is there. For years I lived with undiagnosed depression and anxiety. Only after realizing that weakness is found in not going to therapy and strength is found in going to therapy; did I begin to find healing. One of the main things I discovered about myself is the limited thinking patterns I had placed on myself. Allowing myself and others to place "shoulds" on me limited my self-acceptance. I should do this; I should not do that - it is a constant process of adding and removing the bars of expectations. During the first quarter of seminary, I remember sitting in a classroom frustrated with the instructors. They insisted we write academically, which usually means using vocabulary the general public would need a dictionary to understand. My frustration came out of the fact that academic writing is not my authentic self. I didn't go to seminary for another set of bars, I...